Below is a list of steps to take when planning your escape to safety.
Women all the time say they can't get away, they can't accomplish these simple tasks, because he has such strict control over their lives. STOP! Take a minute to evaluate: do you work? Use your lunch hour! Do you go to the grocery store alone? Stop along the way! Do you have a friend or family member you trust?
ASK FOR HELP!
- Plan for a quick escape
- Have somewhere, setup ahead of time, to go in case it gets to the point where you feel that your life (or the lives of your children) is in danger
- If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit
- Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures
- Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made, if possible
- Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house where they can go for help. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you
- Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you
- Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend or neighbor’s house
- Hide an extra set of car keys
- Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items
- Regularly needed medication
- Drivers license
- Credit cards or list of cards you hold yourself or jointly
- Pay stubs
- Checkbooks and information about banking and other assets
If time is available also:
- Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.)
- Titles, deeds and other property information
- Medical records
- Children’s school and immunization records
- Insurance information
- Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will and other legal documents
- Verification of social security numbers
- Welfare identification
- Valued pictures, jewelry or personal possessions
- Open a private mailbox and a separate bank account with the statements sent to the mailbox
- Or start "stashing" money in a secret place
Once you have left, you may also create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate. Ask questions that require a call back to your house in order to leave phone numbers on record . |
